The Good Long Road

More Underdogs News

2011-10-03T09:00:00.000-07:00

Congressional Representative Buck McKeon visited the students at McGrath Elementary School - -- and he has written a letter to President Obama asking him to consider visiting these students who are achieving at exceptionally high levels.

If you haven't seen this featurette from the documentary we're making that highlights why President Obama should recognize these students, please check it out: http://vimeo.com/20115070.

And, please like us on Facebook. We're so proud of these students and think this story is an important story to tell.

Underdogs Update

2011-09-16T08:19:00.000-07:00

McGrath Elementary School, the school we're currently profiling in our documentary, "Underdogs" is a recipient of the National Blue Ribbon Award. They are one of only 4 schools in LA County to receive this award, with only 256 public schools, nationally, being recognized.

On Friday, Ramon filmed the announcement at the school, and the school will be recognized in Washington D.C. in November.

We're so proud of the students, teachers, staff and leadership of McGrath Elementary School for another successful school year last year (e.g. the 6th grade students improved their Math test scores by 25%), and we know this school year their hardwork will continue with even greater success.

You can see a featurette and teaser trailer for the film at http://vimeo.com/20115070 and http://vimeo.com/16123214, on youtube at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdJ8iDLw8lY or on our website http://thinktenmediagroup.com/underdogs.htm.

UNDERDOGS: The Story of a Successful Public School

2010-12-11T10:36:00.000-08:00

I am proud to be kicking off fundraising for my first feature-length documentary project, "Underdogs," which follows a public school in Newhall, CA (outside of Los Angeles) over what should be a monumental school year this year.

The school is considered a classic "school of poverty." It should be failing, like so many other schools with similar demographics, but the students, staff and administrators at McGrath Elementary School have created a culture of success. This year they want to do the unthinkable -- have 90% of their students score as proficient or advanced on the state's standardized tests. The 6th graders at the school set this goal. And, they're inviting President Obama to go to the movies with them next year if they achieve this goal.

The students are at the heart of the film. I'm enjoying getting to know them through the editing process and am proud of the filming that Ramon is doing on the project and of the teaching he is doing, as he is teaching filmmaking to students at the school.

Ramon and I are very proud of this project and are working very hard, but we need your help. Every dollar counts! Go to http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/657589189/underdogs-the-story-of-a-successful-public-school-0 to find out how you can help, what you can gain for supporting the project -- AND TO SEE A 7 MINUTE VIDEO EXCERPT FROM THE FILM.

Thanks!

More Than Enough

2010-10-24T12:46:00.001-07:00

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has." - Margaret Mead

Recently, there was an Alice in Wonderland Tea Party at the after-school program I run. There were cookies, cupcakes and pizza slices being sold. There were "mad hats" being made and other art activities. The goal was to raise money for clean water in Burkina Faso (a small country in Africa).

The students hoped to raise $250, which would provide a toilet for students at a school in a small country across the world. When, the activity booths were closed, and the cookies and cupcakes and pizza were gone, everyone gathered in the cafeteria. I proudly announced that we raised $225. After the claps died down, I heard a small voice.

"Miss Jen, here," came the words of a little boy, who extended his hand and offered another dollar. Then, another student raised their hand and offered up a couple more dollars, then another and another and another. $5 here, 35 cents there, and on and on and on.

I was noticeably moved by this generous act of students, who know all to well the value of a single dollar.

Later, when I had a chance to count what was given in that final burst of generosity (where the students were not receiving activity tickets, cookies, cupcakes or anything else in exchange for their money), I counted $41, and that didn't include the change.

$41 more dollars, which all began with 1 student and $1.

In my mind, I heard Margaret Mead's words: "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has."

And I added my own: "Never doubt that a simple, single act of kindness is too little. Indeed, it may become more than enough."

Post-Sky Diving Photo from August 2006

2010-06-19T18:11:00.000-07:00

Five Non-Vestments + Five Potentials

2010-06-14T22:02:00.000-07:00

Five things that I'm glad I don't spend money on:

1. Cable/TV - we don't have any type of TV service. This is great, primarily because it means the "one-eyed baby-sitter" is not just always on, but also because it makes me really consider more deliberately the media I consume. Between hulu.com and espn.com, I typically catch the few TV-related things I might be interested in and avoid the rest.
2. Baby "gear/toys" -- I'm not really into crowding our house with baby stuff. We've been blessed to be given a lot of stuff from friends (hand me-downs and new). Plus, babies are innovative. Sky doesn't really need a lot of toys. The box that my Toms shoes came is very entertaining, as are diapers (clean ones of course), measuring cups, an old remote control, etc.
3. Morning coffee -- I make it at home, instead of getting elsewhere. It saves money and is, usually, just the way I like it.
4. In that same vein - "grab-it-on-the-way breakfast" (AKA take out breakfast) -- which typically means a bagel or muffin (I used to do this). Now, I make breakfast at home. It's healthier, less caloric and sugary, gives me a much better start to my day and saves money.
5. Accessories and excess clothes -- I'm very basic when it comes to fashion -- always have been, always will be. I prefer good finds at a thrift store -- better for my wallet, better for the environment, better (typically) for the cause the thrift store supports (in most cases), and (at times) more unique. Also, regarding accessories, now that I have a baby, I really am glad because the few "nice" things I did have, Sky has broken, spit up on, etc.

Five things I wonder if I would truly get my money's worth from if I bought:
1. Food processor or maybe just a mortar and pistol
2. More coffee items - frother, espresso maker, etc.
3. Fancier cell phone (mine is VERY basic)
4. Waffle maker
5. A new dress for my friend Amiena's wedding

Thoughts??

Top Ten "Investments"

2010-06-07T17:41:00.000-07:00

In my commitment to the good long road, I strive to be a conscientious consumer and to consume as little as possible (sometimes successfully, other times, not so successfully), to reuse as much as possible, and to be generous and giving, even with a limited income. Here's my Top Ten "Investments."

10. Toms Shoes - Pregnancy did a number on my feet and shoes, so after I had Sky I invested in a new pair of shoes. This time, Toms Shoes, which I have found to be quite comfortable (physically and mentally - knowing that my purchase meant that a child would also now have a pair of shoes). I also purchased a hoodie from Tom Shoes, since pregnancy had broken the zipper and several seams of my previous hoodie. (I now have my second pair of Toms Shoes).

9. Books - Two specifically that I want to mention: Yoga Mom, Buddha Baby by Jyoth Larson and Ken Howard, which I purchased at the local thrift store and True Love by Thich Nhat Hanh. I didn't purchase True Love for myself. It was a gift from my brother, Kyle, but I have purchased it for 2 friends, so far. You can buy it at amazon or Barnes & Noble, or straight from Parallex Press. Here's a review.

8. Abundant Harvest Organics (a weekly box of locally-grown, organic produce - I typically only need to buy it once or twice a month. I"m supporting locally farmers and getting organic food at a great price). You can read about my recent cooking experiments with this produce on my other blog, Cooking With Love.

7. American Red Cross Donation for Haiti, Donation to a Birthing Center in Palestine, Food Purchase for items to give to the local food pantry, etc.

6. Train Fare - to meet a friend Downtown rather than guzzling gas and adding to LA's notorious traffic problem.

5. Plane Tickets - to Boston just after Christmas (the reason was unfortunate, Ramon's father's funeral), but the trip (with Sky) was a beautiful opportunity for reconnections with family and friends and also (for my grandmother's funeral) to Kansas in April. This weekend I'm going to Chicago to be with my family for my mom's 65th birthday.

4. Compost Bin -- will save money, improve our soil at home and reduce our waste.

3. Sustainable kitchen items - Pyrex glass food containers, a reusable coffee filter, wood cutting board and reusable water bottle.

2. Reusable baby items - G Diapers, cloth nursing pads and such.

1. Fabric - for a sling my mom made for Sky (see below); extra fabric was used for pillowcases (that double as bassinet sheets) and for a boppy case.

Brushes #1

2010-03-31T10:40:00.000-07:00

BRUSHES
3-27-10

About the Artist

Sky Fischer Hamilton was born on November 7, 2009. He shows great promise as an artist with his work reflecting his fun-loving nature and ability to bring a smile to the face of all he meets. His talent as an artist must be related to his regimented lifestyle. For example, while Sky enjoys tasting everything, he maintains a very strict diet (milk only, please) and takes frequent naps throughout the day. He also sticks to a regimented exercise routine that includes rigorous leg workouts with lots of kicking and jumping, yoga at the exclusive MomBa studio in Val Verde, and power walks with his personal trainer, Jennifer. In addition, he studies dance with private dance instructor, Ramon. Aside from visual arts, Sky's artistic interests also include music. He can often be heard singing (in a crooner style) and enjoys playing a keyboard that was specially designed for him. He even plays it with his feet. Intellectually, Sky's endeavors are impressive. He loves books and is currently learning two languages. We hope you enjoy this inaugural artistic work that was made at an exclusive art studio in Santa Monica under the patronage of Danika Sudik and Tom Burmester.

Rays of Sunshine (AKA Hope)

2010-03-30T11:28:00.000-07:00

My last blog was all about obstacles and roadblocks, and the importance of remembering to breath and of not forgetting that the road is good, even when there seem to be lots of roadblocks and obstacles getting in the way. Not long ago, that is how things felt for our little family -- as if there were just lots of roadblocks. We were frustrated that we were working to do so much good and yet kept butting up against such challenges. Then, as Ramon says, we started to see little rays of sunshine breaking through the clouds. We were told that the landlords were selling the house we lived in and so we started looking at apartments. It was cloudy indeed. Yet, a single ray broke through the clouds as we started thinking that maybe we could buy the house. We got the list price. We ran the numbers. It all made sense. We could buy the house we were already living in. We made an offer and then had to meet a counter offer (that raised the price very little). Today, the real estate agent called and told us that the owners had signed. The rays got brighter. However, this morning my grandmother passed away and the sky literally was cloudy outside. We had known this day was coming. She was 88. My mother had been there for 2 weeks, but was back in Texas when it happened. However, the chaplain had just been with my grandmother -- there's a little ray. My mother, of course, is grieving as anyone would who loses a mother. Yet, all three of her children and their spouses will be able to be together on Easter weekend for the services. I see more rays of sunshine breaking through the clouds. My brothers, Kyle and Brent, have not yet met Sky, so I am very glad that they will be able to do so and that Sky will also get to meet Deb and Hayley (Brent's wife and step-daughter), as well as his Great-Uncle and, I'm sure, lots of other extended family. It is not whether challenges and sadness and loss will come into our lives. It always will, but I believe there is always a ray of sunshine (aka hope) if we look for it. I know others may disagree, but finding the sun amidst (or hidden behind) the clouds is the only way I have ever made it through a rainy season.

The Good Long Road

2010-03-08T11:20:00.000-08:00

My brother, Kyle, came up with this name for my blog. In fact, he set up the blog for me when I was embarking upon the journey of my Run for Peace just about 3 years ago.

It is an appropriate title/theme, for the blog and for life, I suppose. For it is a good, long road. At times, it seems, that it is a very, very long road and that certain stretches are particularly treacherous with road blocks all around that constantly block the path. It is at these times when I find that I most need to remind myself that Peace is Every Step, no matter if that step is small or even backwards. I have to remind myself that I do "Run for Peace" or, as the case may be, walk/crawl/dig/scramble and fall (flat on my face - particularly when I might forget that peace is every step.) I must remind myself to always keep the Peace part front and center. If I falter and if I lose my way and if I am not promoting peace with each step and each action, I must learn to stop and breath and find the center point again -- the point that allows me to regain my focus.

In running, if you aren't breathing properly, it doesn't really work. You might be fine for awhile, but eventually you will have to stop, your side will hurt, your lungs burn, your breath will get shorter and shorter and you won't be able to run anymore, sometimes it gets so bad you can't even walk anymore. Life is like that too. If we don't breath. If we don't center ourselves. If we don't cleanse our bodies and hearts and minds by bringing new oxygen in and releasing the bad, the old, the used, the negative, we won't get very far. We'll find that the road is neither good nor long because we're just walking in place or standing still while life passes us by. Often, we expend a lot of effort, but go nowhere. So, we certainly can't navigate or climb over or go around any obstacles -- the breath is all wrong and the energy is not there. The road just feels long, not good.

Just long. I'm trying, though, to look harder and to breath deeper. To realize that next to that roadblock, or the several roadblocks that keep getting in the way, there might be a single, beautiful red rose or an orchid that is starting to blossom or a tiny ladybug crawling along the path. These simple pleasures--a baby boy sleeping on your chest, a friend who listens, a stranger who offers a smile, a cup of tea or coffee made with extra care--these, along with a few cleansing breaths, can give a new perspective and can grant new energy, so that the roadblocks, though they may still be there, don't look so intimidating, don't seem to big, and might even begin to look like opportunities for creativity, for new ways of thinking and doing, for new partnerships that will get us past them.

Yes, the road is long. Yes, it can get clogged. It can be treacherous. It may even seem impossible. But, the road is also good. That fact just may not be so obvious. And it's okay to stop for awhile and take a break, take a breather, and mourn the challenges, before putting our running shoes back on and logging another mile.

Top Ten Dr. Seuss Books

2010-03-01T22:01:00.000-08:00

Dr. Seuss's birthday is March 2nd. He is an author whose work is pretty universally loved by all children and whose work has inspired and motivated many children as they learn to read. I see this at the after-school program I run, so in honor of Dr. Seuss, I am listing (this time in order, with #1 being my favorite) my top 10 Dr. Seuss books.

10. The Lorax

9. Go, Dog Go!

8. Horton Hears a Who

7. My Book About Me (I had so much fun filling this in when I was a kid)

6. The Sneetches and Other Stories

5. There's a Wocket in My Pocket

4. Fox in Sox

3. How the Grinch Stole Christmas - as someone not into gifts at Christmas and who thinks everything (especially holidays, all holidays) is over-materialized in this country, I love the message that Christmas is about being together and sharing love, not about the presents

2. One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish - the Dr. Seuss book I remember the most from my childhood

1. Green Eggs and Ham (moved into #1 spot largely because of the movie "I Am Sam," which I absolutely love)

First Family Photo - 10 Years Later!

2010-02-27T17:57:00.000-08:00

10 Years

2010-02-27T17:50:00.000-08:00

Ramon's Birthday is today. Ramon is my life partner, work partner and, now, parenting partner. We have been blessed with more than 10 years together. Today, I am listing 10 wonderful memories from our life together in, more or less, chronological order

10. Our trip to Alexandria in 1999, which was when we first expressed our feelings for one another.
9. Spending Christmas together in Bethlehem, also in 1999.
8. New Year's at the Pyramids in Egypt 1999-2000.
7. Thanksgiving - 2002
6. My graduation from Harvard - I couldn't have gotten through it (or in) without you (June 2003)
5. Going to Fenway (in particular Derek Lowe's no-hitter), but in general this one represents all of the memories in Boston and my gratefulness to Ramon for sharing his city with me.
4. Running together at the park in Brockton - I loved doing that. (2001-2002) and the burgers and sausages you cooked for my "30"run (2007)
3. Our first Christmas with Sky (2009)
2. Our trip to the park - Dec. 2009 (first family photo)
1. Sky's birth, of course (Nov. 7, 2009)

On his birthday, I wish to Thank Ramon for sharing so much with me and I would like to encourage all of you to thank those special people in your lives and to treasure each moment you have with them and not just the "top" memories.

I know that we don't know enough.

2010-02-16T22:19:00.000-08:00

Oprah: What do you know for sure?

Nhat Hanh: I know that we do not know enough. We have to continue to learn. We have to be open. And we have to be ready to release our knowledge in order to come to a higher understanding of reality. When you climb a ladder and arrive on the sixth step and you think that is the highest, then you cannot come to the seventh. So the technique is to abandon the sixth in order for the seventh step to be possible. And this is our practice, to release our views. The practice of nonattachment to views is at the heart of the Buddhist practice of meditation. People suffer because they are caught in their views. As soon as we release those views, we are free and we don't suffer anymore.

Thich Nhat Hanh, a Buddhist monk who is largely responsible for this entire blog and the actions connected with it, was on my mind and his teachings on mindfulness and deep breathing flowed through my day. In the morning, I noticed that my friend (and fictive brother) Chris had posted a link (on facebook, of course) to Oprah's interview with Thich Nhat Hanh. I did not, at that time, read the interview. I have only just read the interview now. But, I have read several Thich Nhat Hanh books over the last 7-8 years.

At the after-school program, two students had a difficult day today. As I was dealing with the students' anger and pain, I thought of Thay, the Vietnamese word for teacher, which Thich Nhat Hanh is often called. In thinking of him, I led these students through deep breathing. One of the students, the one who was hurting, was effectively calmed by the time we got to the tenth breath and discovered that she wasn't really hurt that badly (which I knew to be the case) and ran off to her class. The other student, who struggles daily with his anger and frustration with the world around him and with his peers, tried the breathing exercise with me.

It was more difficult for him. Tears filled his eyes. His reasons for being angry kept rising to the surface. I realized that deep breathing would not be enough and thought of Thay's walking meditations. He had so much angry energy. So, I had this student walk with me to the copy room - taking five steps for each breath in and five steps for each breath out. Pretty soon (after about 20-25 steps) he was completely calm and eagerly shared everything he knew about prehistoric tigers and birds (which is a lot by the way).

It was an interesting experience because I have often thought that I would like to institute/integrate meditation into the after-school program, but had felt overwhelmed as to how to do it. Did I need a specific teacher? Where would we get the funding? Would the students respond well to it? Etc., etc., etc. Today, I realized how much I was overcomplicating things. I don't need a meditation "class." I just have to recognize the opportunities when they arise and share meditation practices with the students. Thank you, Thay for all of your wonderful teachings. Thank you, Karen for introducing me to Thich Nhat Hanh's work and for the opportunities you have given me to hear him speak in person. Thank you , Chris, for posting this interview in your facebook status. Thank you, Kyle for your practice and commitment to mindfulness as it reminds me, on a daily basis, to continue down the Good Long Road.

I broke away from my Ten pattern on the blog to follow my inspiration of the day, but I think that is allowed. Thank you for listening and, to fold in the idea of ten, I invite you to enjoy 10 deep, meditative breaths.

My Heart

2010-02-13T11:57:00.001-08:00

Clearly, I am not that great of a blogger. I go way too long between posts. Life can do that. I decided last fall, though, to focus in on the theme "Ten," which is significant to my life. As I mentioned before, I just celebrated 10 years with my amazing life and work partner and, now, parenting partner, Ramon, and I have a film project entitled "Ten" that I would love to get myself together and bring to fruition.

My goal was to post Top Ten Lists (not like David Letterman's). This approach was supposed to get me to write more often. I actually had notes on lists, some completed lists and some partial lists in my journal (my goal was to post, of course, every ten days). Well, during the busy month of August, I lost my journal, which as anyone who has ever lost a journal knows, is a pretty unfortunate thing.

Now, about 5 months after my last posting (that's half of 10), I'm back with 10 things that nurture my heart (in no particular order). Ramon and I don't exchange gifts at Valentine's Day. We do, though, work on valuing, loving and appreciating one another 365 days each year. So, this posting is my only act in recognition of Valentine's Day.

10. My family (Mom, Dad, Kyle, Brent, Ramon, Sky, etc.)
9. My work - I love nurturing and encouraging young people . I don't always have all the answers regarding what the students I work with need, but my mantra is always -- when in doubt, give more love (also my parenting motto).
8. Ideas - whether I find them in a book, in a conversation with a friend or family member, in a song, in the joy on Sky's face when he discovers something new
7. Music - listening to it and, definitely, playing it. On Tuesday, I was playing the piano with Sky in my lap and he starting cooing along. My heart certainly got a little bit stronger on that day.
6. Fictive Kin - all of the wonderful people who have been in my life and supported me as if I were family, despite the lack of any "blood" connecting us
5. A good meal with friends or family. I love cooking (in fact, I'm starting a new blog, ironic since I'm so bad at updating this one. It's called Cooking with Love. I believe food (and breaking bread with others) can warm the heart and soul. I recommend reading Roger Ebert's blog about meals. It captures the value of breaking bread with others, though he himself can no longer eat.
4. Yoga with Sky - I'm sure avid yoga practitioners would find our routine lacking in its accuracy as I don't really know that much about yoga and only really started doing it when I was pregnant, but Sky and I love it.
3. Sky
2. Sky
1. Sky

So, maybe I'm cheating by listing my son, who is now just over 3 months old, 3 times, but he nurtures my heart and fills my life with joy in a way that I can't put into words. I feel so blessed to have him in my life. He represents so much possibility (hence the name Sky) and contains within him, Ramon and I believe, pieces of those we love who have passed on. Thus, he represents so much that I think listing him more than once is only appropriate because it is also a way to list those individuals and to reference the possibilities, hope, and peace found in my 12 pound bundle of joy.

5 years ago

2009-08-02T00:02:00.000-07:00

Just over 5 years ago (July 26, 2004 to be exact), I met my brother Brent for the first time. Probably sounds odd for that to be the case.

Brent is 12 years older than me. My parents were young, unmarried and my dad was in Seminary in Oklahoma when they became pregnant with him. From both families' perspectives, adoption was the only option.

My parents moved, had Brent. He was adopted and that was that. I knew nothing of it until Christmas 2003, when my mom (and then my dad one day later) told my brother Kyle and I about Brent (although at that time we didn't know his name).

The following Spring, my mother filled out the Indiana state paperwork, which Brent had filled out many years before. Brent received notice of his mother (my mother) and called her. From there, a flurry of phone calls began: mom to me, mom to Kyle, Kyle to me, Brent to Kyle, Brent to me, etc., etc.

Brent lived in Chicago. Kyle's band, Rainer Maria, was playing a show in Chicago. Brent got a stand-by airline ticket for me to Chicago through a friend of his and that's how it became that just 7 months after I was told that another brother of mine even existed, I found myself sitting at a club with Brent (my new brother -- LLB, long lost brother as we had become fond of calling him) and Kyle (the brother I had grown up with my whole life).

It was a mind-blowing and amazing experience. That has only gotten better. Getting to know Brent and his other family has enriched my life in so many ways. I've decided that this "Ten" would be dedicated to that reunion five years ago. Here's ten amazing/cool/wonderful things (in no particularly order) about having a new brother:

Brent's generosity and kindness -- his openness as a person (and his mannerism, which are just like my dad's)
Brent's parents - the Middletons - very warm and loving people that raised their son to have such an amazing spirit; they have made our reunion with him (and our experiences with them) so comfortable and easy.
Brent's sister, Karla, who told me the first time we met that she always wanted a sister.
Brent's new wife, Deb, a welcome addition to this every-expanding family
Brent's awesome step-daughter, Hayley, who kept me very busy when I was in Chicago for Brent and Deb's wedding last Christmas.
Skydiving with Brent!! - My mom decided that the best way to celebrate her 60th birthday would be jump out of a plane with her son, Brent (who is an avid skydiver). Of course, Kyle and I had to also. It was a blast!! (Though I don't know if I would do it again).
Brent's nephews, who are my nephews too now and who both have unique personalities that I've enjoyed slowly starting to get to know.
The Middleton-Fischer Thanksgiving when time my mom, Kyle and I first met Brent's family. There were so many incredible things about that experience. I know I will never forgot it.
The peace that the reunion has brought to my mother.
Having more family -- always a good thing!!

Pregnancy & Meditation

2009-07-24T11:32:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite evening meditations for the baby is a derivative of a Thich Naht Hanh meditation from his amazing book, True Love: A Practice of Awakening the Heart.

It is a simple meditation where you pick a single focal point (usually within oneself -- your heart, for example) and say as you breath in - I am aware of my heart, and as you breath out - I smile at my heart.

My take on this meditation is to put both of my hands on my belly, breath in and communicate with the baby -- "Baby, I know that you are there" and as I breath out -- "Baby, I am smiling at you."

It might seem odd to some people, but I know the baby feels it and experiences it. I often feel the baby moving inside of me during these meditations and it definitely leads me (and baby) into a calm and peaceful sleep. It's amazing how simple and yet effective it is. I've struggled with meditation in the past (due to a distracted mind), but most nights this meditation comes to me very easily.

And, in keeping with my theme of Ten, I close this blog with ten lines from True Love:

So every time you have an energy
that needs to be transformed, like jealousy or fear,
do something to care for this energy, for this negative energy,
if you do not want this energy to destroy you.
Touch the seed of mindfulness, and then all of its energy
will be able to establish itself in your 'living room,'
like a mother tenderly embracing your pain. With that energy of mindfulness,you are
doing the true practice of meditation with regard to your pain, your emotions.
If you are able to maintain mindfulness for five or ten minutes, you will experience some relief right away.

Ten - An Egyptian Retrospective

2009-07-15T14:55:00.000-07:00

It was almost exactly 10 years ago that I moved to Cairo, Egypt (6 weeks before my study abroad program would begin) and had my first encounter/experience with the Middle East. Please enjoy a list of 10 ways this experience/decision influenced my life:

10. The experience expanded my world-view and allowed me to gain a better understanding of the complexity and universality of the world.
9. I fell undeniably in love with travel and exploration and haven’t been able to stop venturing abroad since.
8. I experienced generosity and hospitality at an amazing level, which taught me to be more giving.
7. I saw first-hand the possibility that peace can exist (and has and does exist) between Israelis and Palestinians as Ramon and I celebrated Christmas in Bethlehem alongside Israelis, Palestinians, Germans, Africans and so many others from around the world, who celebrated together in an atmosphere of love and hope.
6. I gained confidence and strength as I journeyed through various parts of the Middle East alone.
5. I learned Arabic (though I must admit 10 years later, it is quite rusty and lost in the depths of my brain waiting to be recovered from years of storage).
4. I am now able to share my experience with others and breakdown many stereotypes and misconceptions that exist about the Middle East and Islam.
3. I decided that my life should be lived as a peacemaker.
2. I met amazing people who taught me a variety of wonderful things about life and gained a few lifelong friends.
1. And, of course, I met and fell in love with Ramon, who ended up being my partner in life, love, work, art and so much more. I feel so blessed to spend each day working together to grow our non-profit, to teach the arts to children, to push our creative abilities through filmmaking, to (now) be starting a family together, and to have his support and love in all that I do and to return that support and love. Being together makes each of us better.

I’m sure, there are many other ways that my trip to Egypt changed my life, but these 10 are stick out, and I am certain that when I went to Egypt, I never imagined that all of this would be the result, but I am definitely grateful that it was.

*Though it is 2009, this year for me is the year of “Ten’s” or at least a year when grouping things in Ten or thinking about things in groups of Ten has been (and continues to be dominant):

Ramon, my wonderful life partner, and I will be celebrating 10 years together in December, at which point we should have just celebrated the birth of our first child (expected to arrive around Nov. 5)
My documentary, “Ten,” which has been swirling around in my brain for almost two years, is finally really taking shape and I am applying for development funding for the project; the application is due on the 1st day of the 10th month
I recently did a writing/visualization project a friend sent me that involved selecting 10 things I wanted (and there are many more examples of Ten's in my life.

With all these Ten’s swirling around and my recent awareness that my blog upkeep since my run has been less than stellar, I’ve decided to set a goal of keeping my blog simple and trying to post every 10 days with, at the very least, a list of 10 – not like David Letterman’s (I’m not that funny), but a 10 list that is relevant and important to my life. The Egyptian 10 is the first of many to come.

Election Day 2008 - Songs of Hope & Change

2008-11-04T09:27:00.000-08:00

Today, I defer to the words (and music) of others, and am happily sharing, my Obama Election Day Music Mix. I'm burning CD copies right now to take to an Election Party tonight. Here's youtube links for the tracks. Enjoy.

Track 1 - will.i.am - Yes We Can
Track 2 - Pearl Jam - Patriot
Track 3 - Bob Dylan - The Times They Are A-Changin'
Track 4 - Alicia Keys - Superwoman
Track 5 - Dixie Chicks - I Hope
Track 6 - John Lennon - Imagine
Track 7 - Tracy Chapman - Talkin' Bout a Revolution (wish the quality was better)

And Finally, Of Course:
Track 8 - Sam Cooke - A Change is Gonna Come:

As Sam says,

It's been a long, long time coming
But I know a change gonna come
Oh, yes it is

The change is now. It's time. Vote!

When I Grow Up

2008-06-30T09:51:00.000-07:00

"Miss Jen, when I grow up, I will name my daughter Jennifer."

A simple sentence can sometimes be enough to get one through a very challenging week (or two).

During the final week of a long school year, one of the 11 year-old students in the after-school filmmaking program I run and teach uttered that wonderful, simple sentence.

It was not the sentence in itself that held such important meaning, but also the student who spoke it. This student had driven me crazy at the beginning of the year. He could not sit still. He could not listen. He constantly tested the limits.

Yet, through care and patience on the part of myself and my co-teacher Jim and through the power of theatre and film, this student changed.

Editing film requires a lot of patience, difficult for any 11 year-old. Yet, this student, who at the beginning of the year could not sit still for even a couple of minutes, fell in love with film. So much so, that while other students are outside on the playground, he prefers for the two of us to go inside and work on the film -- editing and selecting music.

As I reflected on a hectic school year, I think of this particular student and of so many other students who changed as they participated in the program, I realize that all of the challenges and moments of insanity have been worth it.

"When I grow up, I will name my daughter Jennifer."

I reply, "When you are old enough to have a child, you won't even remember me."

"Yes, I will Miss Jen. Yes, I will," is his simple response.

He will and so will I. I will always remember him and the rest of these students.

In lieu of regular blog updates, I'm excited to share some student projects with you - it is the best way I can think of to update you on my life. Below are some links to YouTube projects made by students of Script 2 Screen.

I.M.

Hope, Through Grief

2008-03-04T11:01:00.000-08:00

In late January, I found myself walking through the Mission District in San Francisco with Salwa, a Palestinian woman. We had met just the day before, yet I felt myself deeply connected to her. My heart was opening. Hers had broken.

Salwa's daughter, Abir, was killed one year ago by an Israeli rubber bullet on her way home from school. As Salwa and I walked outside, her husband, Bassam, was speaking about his work with Combatants for Peace. He presented that night alongside Elik, a former Israeli combatant. Both had suffered significant losses to the conflict that had once pitted them against one another. Now, as the co-founders of Combatants for Peace, they and other fighters, stand together, demonstrating the "unofficial" peace accord that already exists between some Israelis and Palestinians. Their organization is now building a safe play space for the children at Abir's school.

My conversation with Salwa had a resonance that can be hard to find in everyday life. Her story, and my attempts to provide her some comfort, gave a sense of purpose to all my travels in the Middle East, and my studies of the Arabic language. All those long nights of study--all those times lost in Cairo without a map--were worth it, to be able to offer her some small comfort in her native tongue. Ahlan wa Sahlan, Salwa. "[Welcome.]"

With recent increases in violence, more families are suffering pain like Salwa's. Recently 8 Israelis lost their lives in a tragic event at a Seminary in Jerusalem. In the recent invasion in Gaza, 100 Palestinians died, including children, with many more Israelis and Palestinians injured. When I hear this news, I hold fast to Elik and Bassam's commitment to not respond with violence, no matter what is happening around them. I find strength in their commitment to talk together and to build together rather than to fight. I focus my thoughts on all of the Palestinians and Israelis I have met over the last 9 years who also bravely stand beside each other even now! Brought face to face, they have found a human connection deeper than any political division. I wish that I could walk with Salwa now in Al-Quds (Jerusalem). I feel the grief of all those who have lost loved ones in this conflict, and especially of the other mothers like Salwa.

Though I am sitting safely in front of my computer in California, my heart and my thoughts fly to Jerusalem and Gaza and Siderot, to Neve Shalom/Wahat al-Salam, and over the whole region. And I am proud to join Salwa, Bassam, Elik and so many others in building a safer, more peaceful world. There is hope to overcome grief, knowing that there are already so many Palestinians and Israelis who refuse to see each other as enemies.

It has been a dark week in the Middle East, marred by loss and hatred. Yet, I cling to the love I have seen between the two sides, to the forgiveness and to the opportunities that reveal the common interests shared by supposed enemies, as we build hope and lay a foundation for peace. I know it exists. I see it. Our work continues.

If you would like to learn more about the building efforts of Combatants for Peace, which are supported by the Rebuilding Alliance, please visit http://www.rebuildingalliance.org

New Tradition, New Year

2008-01-01T12:22:00.000-08:00

With the new year upon us now, ornaments will be taken off the family Christmas tree, packed away, and the tree itself will either be left on the curb, if it was real, or boxed away until next year, if it was not.

Today, I will be taking the ornaments off of our tree. But the tree's journey will just be beginning as I partake in a new tradition.

My co-teacher, Jim, gave Ramon and I a small potted Christmas tree. Though, he left it sitting on a table with no note, message, or explanation, Ramon and I knew it was from Jim. And it was. His daughter, my good friend Danika, told me that he only buys potted Christmas trees. It is the ecological farmer in him.

Weeks later, when we joined them on Christmas Eve for dinner, I discovered that there was more to this Christmas tree tradition when they took the ornaments and lights off of the tree and planted it in their backyard. Beautiful, I thought. While most Christmas trees' journeys are ending, this tree's journey was just beginning. Each year, when Christmas is over, the tree is planted in honor of friends and family they have lost in that year.

...Today, I will be planting the Christmas tree Ramon and I were given in honor of my friend Donna's mother, who recently passed, and of my friend Alan's family's significant loss in 2007. Donna and Alan are friends and colleagues from The Rebuilding Alliance, so this tree's life will honor not only their personal losses, but the losses of so many in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict and will symbolize hope for a more peaceful future and honor the commitment of so many working tirelessly for that future.

The Good Long Road continues in 2008. I hope it will bring new traditions, new opportunities to love and to share in the act of being peace.

Happy New Year!

The Red Ponytail

2007-11-30T08:23:00.000-08:00

so much depends
upon

a red pony
tail

glazed with blonde
streaks

falling upon a white
face

Looking Back

2007-09-23T08:57:00.001-07:00

Six months ago, my longest run was somewhere between 5 and 6 miles, with a fair amount of walking involved; my total running miles: 77. I rarely ran routes that had any elevation at all -- and had never run on a trail. In fact, I had probably only hiked trails a handful of times in my life and knew very little about the beautiful trails that were actually within 5 miles of my home.

Further, my self-discipline left something to be desired. I had little trouble accomplishing things when other people mandated the accomplishments (work, school, etc.), but had great difficulty prioritizing my personal goals and well-being.

With the goal of making running a part of my life (because of its mental, emotional and physical benefits) and improving my self-discipline, I decided to run a marathon for my 30th birthday. Then I realized a trail run would be preferable and settled on the Big Basin Redwoods 50k -- the scenery would be beautiful, it would be 30+ miles for my 30th, and travel would be accessible and affordable.

And so, my training began. I discovered mornings (real mornings 5 and 6 am mornings, not 10 and 11 am mornings). I discovered the necessity and importance of sleep and good eating habits. I discovered the incompatibility of a glass of wine at night and a good run the next morning or coffee during the day and a good run at night. Hydration and rest are critical.

At the end of May, I ran 10 miles. The first time in my life I had ever run that far. It was challenging and exhilarating. I experienced my first true runner's high.

Then, in June, I spent 21 days in production on a feature film, working 14+ hours a day; exhausted and caffeine-addicted, my training fell by the side.

When I got back on track after the film shoot, my running mentor stressed integrating trail runs into my training process since the 50k involved 6,000 feet of elevation. Out on the trail, I learned how different trail running is from street running and how inclines affect stamina, endurance and pace. Trails required more mental engagement, too, with rocks and roots sticking out here and there. They also offered much better views -- mountains, valleys, trees, streams. It was beautiful.

On race day last Sunday (the 16th), my 50k became a15k (thanks to the knee injury I had suffered 10 days earlier) and that 15 took longer and felt much harder than I expected. The trail was difficult with some very steep parts that my aching, swollen, stiff knee did not appreciate. Taking a hard fall during the run (and ripping skin off my hand and shoulder) didn't help much either, nor did capping off the run with a slight diversion from the trail (I was told to go the wrong way by some ill-informed and well-meaning hikers) and a twisted ankle. I had hoped to turn my 50 into 25 that day. I discovered I had to be proud of my 15 -- proud of the fact that I had learned to prioritize my health and well-being over a need to be superwoman, proud that I could tell the difference between sore muscles that can be pushed through another 10k and a swollen, twisted, injured leg that needed the 15 to be enough on that day, so that there would be more runs in the near future.

I may not have run 50k that day. But, I know that I can and will. My knee will heel and I'll be back on the trails for good. Running is a part of my life now. It is something I'm committed to. My longest run to date is an 18-20 mile run with 350+ miles under my belt this year, which is a major accomplishment for me.

The Good Long Road has truly been good and IS truly long. I am still on it. Running (and blogging) has been an incredible experience that has given me a new understanding of my needs and abilities. The support I received from friends and family was incredible, getting me through some challenging runs and a frustrating injury. On race day, I ran with a medallion from my father around my neck and with the knowledge that my mom, brother, boyfriend and a few other close friends were just outside the forest. I smiled when I looked up (perhaps 3 miles to go) and saw my brother and boyfriend, Ramon, walking toward me carrying Benedryl and water, concerned about bee stings, which other runners had suffered. I enjoyed a weekend of love and support. My uncle and brother were inspired to run the 10k next year. The fundraising had brought in nearly $5,000 and words of support from people I had never met. Friends had written to tell me how inspired they were by my blog.

The whole experience has been incredible and I look forward to continuing along the Good Long Road.

Thank you for your support.

4 Days & Counting

2007-09-12T18:39:00.000-07:00

So, the big run is now only four days away.

Many people have been asking me for a reminder about the details of the race, so here's the details: http://www.pctrailruns.com/BBR_Instructions.htm.

People have also been asking me how I feel - am I anxious, nervous, excited. I'm certainly feeling excited, but not anxious or nervous -- at least not yet.

Primarily, I'm feeling uncertain. Exactly one week ago, I set out for my final long run (an exciting 25-mile route I had designed just for that run). Three miles in, I could barely stand. Something had gone wrong with my knee -- painfully wrong.

So, I've been on an ice and rest routine and my trainer and chiropractor have advised me to "Show up on race day, start running and see what happens."

Hence, the uncertainty. I may run 30 miles on Sunday, I may 20 or even 10 or 5 -- maybe even less. Regardless, I've realized. It has been a good, long road. I have learned a lot, accomplished a lot, experienced a lot, gained a lot.

I'm ready. No matter what the big day holds. I'm ready.

Thank you everyone for your support! Keep it coming.

2007-09-11T23:03:00.000-07:00

Reprinted from my hometown newspaper, 07-12-81. The caption reads: "Jenni Fischer, just 3-1/2 years old, competed in the Shawnee Santa Fe Days Mile Run for Fun Saturday morning. Officials said Jenni was the youngest to run and finish the Fun Run. (Photo by Ed Blochowiak)"

this is what a good day's work looks like

2007-08-17T12:23:00.001-07:00

Saving Yourself - Saving the World - Planting Seeds

2007-08-17T11:58:00.000-07:00

Recently, I've been reading The Power of Myth by Joseph Campbell and Bill Moyers.

Campbell puts forth, among other things, that one of the values of myths is their ability to illuminate truth and help us understand ourselves and our place in the world. They are not about the search for meaning, but about the experience of meaning.

For Campbell, changing the world requires changing ourselves. He imparts that we must save ourselves first.

"The influence of a vital person vitalizes...the world without spirit is a wasteland. People have a notion of saving the world by shifting things around, changing the rules and so forth...The thing to do is to bring life to it...to become alive yourself."

For Campbell, by bringing life to ourselves and "following our bliss," we bring life to the world.

Training for this run has forced me to (often reluctantly) change my life. With the 50k (and my 30th birthday) less than 30 days away, I'm reminded of the necessity of these changes. I have to sleep differently, eat differently, drink differently, schedule things differently, run differently, think differently, interact with the world differently. These positive changes will carry me as I continue down the Good Long Road. They are necessary if I am to bring vitality and energy to the world -- and if I am to save myself.

Plant some seeds of your own. Follow your bliss.

There's still time to join me on The Good Lond Road and to support my Run for Peace. The Rebuilding Alliance's latest project will bring vitality, joy and hope to schoolchildren in East Jerusalem. They are building Abir's Garden where children will be able to play and grow safely. If you support this project now by clicking on its Charity Badge, you can help us get closer to our goal. The six projects that receive the highest number of unique donations by Sept. 16th will qualify for the award. What this means is that each person's donation counts just as much -- large or small!

To give, go to http://www.networkforgood.org/pca/Badge.aspx?badgeId=106078

Conquering The Beast (A Running Meditation)

2007-08-12T08:07:00.000-07:00

They call this trail “The Beast.” It is uphill the whole way, 4.86 miles to the top. When I first read about it, I was skeptical. Could it really be uphill for almost five miles? One Wednesday morning, as part of my training, I decided to find out.

As I struggled up the first three-quarters of a mile, which are considered the most difficult, I had already decided that its name and reputation were warranted. An absolutely unrelenting climb, it is a beast.

Yet worth all of the effort, I discovered, continuing upward. Further away from the traffic below, winding around different curves, I found view after breathtaking view. Beautiful canyon walls stood high on either side of the trail, gorgeous mountains rising up in the distance.

I stopped--simply to take in the view. Surprised not to find myself fatigued or cramping, I breathed deeply. Inhaling, I took in the clear beauty of the world around me. The magnificence of Mother Nature overwhelmed me. Being devoured by the Beast was nothing like I had imagined. I felt myself moving inside it, its unfettered beauty all around me.

My mind traveled to a place I had visited once in Thailand. I stumbled upon an inviting temple in Bangkok and ventured inside, looking to meditate. Seeing my attempt was not going so well, an observant nun invited me to join her for a “walking meditation.” She taught me to concentrate on my breathing, to be mindful of my body, to be present to the meditation as a process I was experiencing.

Returning my attention to the Beast, I drew on my experience in Thailand and sought to complete the run with a meditative focus--a “running meditation,” if you will . . .

right, left, right – breathe in

left, right – breathe out

left, right, left – breathe in

right, left – breathe out

right, left, right – focus in

left, right – breathe out (exhaling stress)

left, right, left – focus in (there is tension in my right shoulder)

right, left – release the tension

right, left, right – focus in

left, right – tension out

Repeat. Repeat. Climb.

Rebuilding Hope, Rebuilding Homes

2007-07-25T21:49:00.000-07:00

The Rebuilding Alliance is a 501(c)3 not-for-profit organization that rebuilds homes and communities in regions of war and occupation.

We also seek to create alliances and to bring together individuals around the world to build peace and community.

Our projects are symbols of hope that help rebuild shattered communities and offer people around the world immediate ways to make peace, starting with the tangible support of a family's right to a home.

We are currently working on the 2nd home in The Rachel Corrie Rebuilding Campaign in Gaza. I am asking you to join me in rebuilding homes and hope as Palestinians, Israelis, Americans and others come together to create change.

Join me in celebrating possibility as I approach my goal of 50k, $2000 (for The Rebuilding Alliance) and 30 years of life! I want no gifts, just a lot of giving. Simply go to www.rebuildingalliance.org to make a donation.

Every amount helps. Here are a few suggestions.

Over $50 - You Rock My World Gift
$50 - Run With Me Gift ($1 for every Kilo being run)
$30 - Birthday Gift ($1 for every year of my life)
$5 - Every Gift is Important Gift

There are many wonderful organizations out there making a difference -- just give, if you can.

Donation FAQ

2007-07-25T12:00:00.000-07:00

"I want to give! BUT....

"I don't wish to be added to any group's mailing list or receive any email or mail appeals to give more. "

When you donate through The Rebuilding Alliance (TRA) site (for instance via the link here in my blog), you can specify in the comment box at the bottom of the page that you do not wish to be added to their mailing list. I am in direct contact with the Executive Director of the Rebuilding Alliance. Feel free to email me as well, and I will reiterate your wish not to be contacted.

"I would prefer not to give online for security reasons."

You can mail a check directly to:

The Rebuilding Alliance
457 Kingsley Avenue
Palo Alto CA 94301

"I would prefer to funnel my donation through you."

That's OK too. Send me an email, and I will give you my mailing address. You can mail me a check in my name and I will make your donation for you. I can even send you a receipt if you like! But be aware that U.S law will not permit you to write off your gift for tax purposes if the check is made out to me.

Powered by Peace, Sponsored by Belief

2007-06-28T21:17:00.000-07:00

“The Good Long Road.” It was my brother Kyle that came up with this title for the blog. For the last week I’ve been asking myself, “What exactly is the Good Long Road?”

For our purposes, it is the 50k (31.3-mile) Redwoods Basin Trail Run I’ll make in September. It rises to over 6000 feet in the beautiful California Redwoods. The journey marks my 30th birthday—taking stock, conquering new challenges, and celebrating with friends, family, and fellow runners in the process.

My training is a means of taking care of myself. In taking care of myself, I find I have more energy to care for others.

I run because I believe that peace exists even in the Middle East, where war has waged for "thousands of years."

I seek the peace for myself that I see in the world, believing that there is a nonviolent resolution for every conflict.

I believe this because I see it in my work every day as a peacemaker. I see it in the town of Neve Shalom/Wahat al-Salam, the "Oasis of Peace" where Israelis and Palestinians live, work and raising their children together.

I see it through the conviction of Craig and Cindy Corrie who helped rebuild the home their daughter, Rachel, gave her life to defend in a land far from home. Rachel's work continues now through the Rebuilding Alliance.

I see it through the resourcefulness of small nonprofits/non-governmental organizations--delivering on promises through their will and determination, on small budgets and slim resources.

Many, even those who seek to inspire us, would have us believe that peace is a destination to be reached, at the other end of a “road less traveled.” For me, that’s not true. Yes, the journey may sometimes seem lonelier or more difficult than I imagined. But then I realize that this is only because I have been looking over my shoulder, or at my feet.

When I raise my head - to answer the call, to ask for help, to remember who I am and what I do — I find I have always come to an amazing place. Surrounded by good people, I come to a new understanding. Every arrival is an intersection. I am grateful that there is always more to do.

So to my friends, family, and fellow runners--
May we all raise our eyes together and recognize the journey we share. Peace is the path, not the destination. The road need never end. Join me along the way.